i wish someone would teach me how to use a torrent step by step

so after reading a LOT of tutorials and grasping only the basic of the basics (because i suck at following written instructions and things NEVER go my way), i erased azureus, bitcomet, bitorrent and various other torrents i couldn't get to work properly since the download speed for those things was 1 to 5 kb/sec.

and the things i want are on torrent, like, you know, buffy's e-books (all canon novels) and those american series i'd like to finish watching, like buffy, angel, dr. house, supernatural and dark angel. i also could downlad from

*sigh*

and this is where it gets depressing (for me at least). i watched orange days. i think is the first drama i've finished watching that has no pretty JE boys in its starring, for which i was kind of uninterested at first until i saw Sae give Kai a kick. it was hilarious.

i think i identified myself a little too much with some aspects with the characters, like Shohei saying "I'm just putting life off", creating excuses for myself and lying tto my family about the date release of my resultsand things like that. although i haven't found anything to work for (literally and metaphorically). i also have no impressing memories of my school life. i remember fun stories, but those aren't things that'll stay with me for the rest of my life. even the people i spent time with then, in a year time, i'm not sure i'll talk with (mostly because of my indifference)

i'm quite weird about this thing of not wanting to have contact with people i won't be interacting from now on anymore. like, turning to the next thing and moving on, only that i never really move on. sometimes i miss and sometimes i regret and then i tell myself that this is what i want (and notice that it is mostly how i really feel, just not really interested).

i think... well, no. i'm quite sure i really hate to have to interact with people, specially with people that sought my friendship (in rl i mean), wether they really mean it or not. to have to answer to their questions and little messages. mostly of having nothing to say back to them, because there's no point since they just ask as small-talk. usual questions usually followed by one word answers or not even that.

i wonder when my lj comments began to be lenghtier than my real conversations (and seeing that is only now that i'm geting comments back that is quite pathetic), i think i'm even sadder when i don't get an answer back from a comment i made that from that of an acquaintance

...

an d mom called me a while back to go do things and i totally lost the tread of this entry, so i'll leave it at this

i hope this works

Title: How to le go.

Genre: Inclined to angst

Pairing: Akira/Nobuta, Shuuji/Nobuta, Akira/Tsurara, Shuuji/Mariko, Kurosaki/Tsurara (all of this eventually)

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Written for entertainment, not for profit.
( step one. learn how to cope )