Because Shige is PURE AWESOME and I'm a copycat

[kriszeth]

Lately, ne, I've been reading Shige's essays in Myojo. I must say "Wow!", because is always refreshing and touching and just plain awesome how he can write all THAT from only one word. Mostly because he does not try to give out lessons and advice, but because he's giving you inkling into his life, how he thinks and how he feels. It's clearly enjoyable how his words link into this amazing piece of reading material from what seem simple prompts.

And so, here's my failed attempt into this kinda writing, although mine WILL be 1 000 times more depresing. God, I need to see kurosagi, definitely, when is it gonna be subbed again? Is someone even gonna sub it? Anybody?

 

 

 

I've never really liked to shoot photos were people I tend to hang around for any extended period of time (classmates or coworkers and the like) feature in. Dad always calls on me because of this, because when I go out in some class outing I never bring back photos featuring them or myself, but places and rare sigths I fin interesting.

I remember that when I was a kid I liked photos though. Take them and being taken from me. Sometimes, when I look at the photo albums of my childhood the person I see in them is someone I do not can't recognize. Smiles too big and poses in childish happiness.

So, the last photos from my childhood are those from when I graduated from elementary school. Which are hideous let me tell you, because the woman who styled my hair did an appalling work.

And then, they just stopped. Just like that.

In middle school… there were to be too many complexes (some of them I still carry), I suppose, to care about taking photos but then I think of Esmeralda. Of the passion and love she put into her snapshots.

Even now, though, I don't think I'll be able to reconcile the person she saw through the lens with me, because she took a part of me that was not mine, but hers… theirs.

"Promise… promise me you'll never let anyone but me take photos of you"

So in the end, not even in high school did I take or let other people take photos of me. Now, I feel as if I only used her promise to my own convenience. Hiding behind it in pretense of being a faithful friend.

I don't have any photos from highschool, ne, which lets me thinking about how I don't have any photos from college either.

Yesterday, ne, my classmates took their graduation photo. I didn't want to, but as one of them paid for the rent of my toga I was kind of conned into taking it, because they wanted me into the group photo.

Still, I'm not into buying it from photographer-san. Mom wants me to, though.

Another one of them told me "I hope that someday you regret your indiference", but, you know, I'm not really indiferent. For much too long, I regreted too many things that there's no space or time for me to regret anymore.

When all my classmates were taking their own photos, I really thought about how I wanted to keep some of them. The funny ones, snapshoots of this people being silly and themselves, not some studio photo with serious faces and make-up done.

I think, the reason why I loved Es' photos is because of that. Because they were natural and gave an inkling of a feeling instead of a pretense.

I want that back. So, I'll buy a camera, someday, and I'll go out and I'll take countless photos about silly simple things.

Wish me luck, ne!