kriszeth: (Default)
ok, guys, this has been bugging me ALL.FUCKING.WEEK. AND I NEED OPINIONS ON THE TOPIC.


really guys, i kid you not, i haven't been able to get it outta my mind. and i somehow can't conform only with a"yes or no", i feel the need for reasons and meta and explanations and maybe even pics, idk. convince me (not that it would take a lot), but there's this feeling in me that wants words. lots of words about your own experience as akame fans.

past the idea, what makes you think about possibilities? do you even think there even are possibilities? if you think "kriszeth, you're delusional, they are only friends. if that"

i NEED to know. need something solid or as solid as fans' thoughts can solidify.

maybe i'm asking too much, and i don't get a lot of comments in neither of my entries, but this time i beg for comments. i want to know your thoughts on this matter, so i hope you click on the post a comment thingie and tell me what do you think/feel/believe and here is the tricky part: I ALSO WANT THE WHYS!
also, sorry for sounding so desperate, but really, this is the way my mind works, i hope you can indulge me

kriszeth: (the wind whispers to me your name)
ok, so my flist is getting increasingly longer, not that i mind. but it causes me great confusion since i also have a twitter account and getting acquainted with, so i humbly ask of my flist to please share their information with me like:

<b>lj username</b>
<b>tumblr username</b>
<b>dreamwidth account</b>
any other names you wanna share

this'll help me to try and know who is who, because when someone says the real name or a nickname when talking i tend to get hopelessly confused and don't know who is who

comments are screened


Aug. 14th, 2009 04:02 pm
kriszeth: (Default)
i c-can't actually believe i really did join [ profile] je_holiday and i' be writing something for it and what if i can't? what if the recipient hates it? and what's with the influx of arashi fans over there? (no that i mind, but i was hoping for more news/kattun than arashi)

oh,god, i'm screwed

kriszeth: (Default)
so, um, [ profile] je_holiday is on bussiness. and i kinda want to participate, but, i wonder if i can write something for it. like, i can write dramafic, akame, nishikato, maybe ryoda, news and kattun gen, maybe guest appearances by arashi if pressed, but is that enough? i mean, i want to get a fic written for me, but i don't know if i can deliver something good.

so, to those who have already participated, how is it? when the mods mail the assigments, how do you decide what to write? do you get prompts?

kriszeth: (outside the window)
i'm actually kind of sad i've been like the only one kinda following this. there are almost no prompts, so i want to help. kinda. so, pimp?

and make me happy


kriszeth: (Default)
first of all:



that said, and for lack of nothing better to do, i'm going to write pointless thing that have meaning to me.

things i want to watch/need to finish watching (i.e.: obviously drama. and the odd american show) )
things i want to read, but i'm too lazy to write myself )
things i want to write )

wow, this is longer than i expected. has anyone read it all?
kriszeth: (Default)

so lately, i've been doing quizzes reccomended by je fans. the new one is this

You Scored as Ninomiya Kazunari

You're most compatible with Nino! You understand that everything has a facade and a core - and you don't get hung up by taking everything at face value. Nino seems to prefer someone who doesn't want to dramatically change his life, sees the real deal, and still wants to stay - with him, you get a complex realist. Results based on a 2006 translated interview about ideal marriages - therefore, you may want to take everything with a grain of salt. ;)


Ninomiya Kazunari
Ohno Satoshi
Aiba Masaki
Matsumoto Jun
Sakurai Sho

it always amazes me how i get the boys i like the less from the band boys i worship like.
*sighs*and this probes to be an inconsequential entry since i don't have anything else to do.
kriszeth: (Default)
I have nothing to say, really, except that wherever you are, I wish you the best.
You have made me cry and laugh and think about you A LOT.
I know we'll never meet, but I hope that everything goes your way, that your work and hopes won't go to waste, that you fight for what you believe in and that you'll reach your dreams..
Jin, I wish you  happiness and a long life.
I hope you find the love you wish for, that you cherish everything and everyone you hold dear and that those that hold you dear cherish you the same way.
Happy birthday Jin
Thank you for all you've made me feel
kriszeth: (Default)
So, yesterday I went with my parents to Leon. I was gonna buy shoes, but I ended up not buying anything as always, even when i spent hours perusing shops.
Have I ever told you I hate going shopping? 
But that's not the point. The point is, when I was ridding the bus (at rush hour, too. Everyone was going to school/wrok/nowhere) and there was this young man.
Do you remenber Koki in Real Face time? Well, I was two meters away from the mexican version of Koki!!!
They looked so alike, even at the plucked eyebrows, his nose, his lips, his build, the bouzu style.EVERYTHING! I kept wondering if I could get away with asking him if he knew by any chance about KAT-TUN. God, I wanted so much to take a photo with my cell, but Mom was beside me and that would be just awkward. 
Though I still acted like a freak and kept sneaking peeks at him with a surely creepy smile on my face (do you know the word subtle? I can't say I did at that moment)
Aaaaaah! Now I just keep thinking, "If I only could meet the mexican version of Kame or Jin or Yamapi" but I'm not much hopeful about it. I still wish it, though.
But that would be awkward, ne. Imagine him asking me "So what atracted you to me?" and I answering along the lines of "Well, you really look like one of the japanese boys I tend to fangirl about" and him being somethng like "... What?" 
... Yeah.
I almost-but-not-quite met the look alike of Tanaka Koki. I wonder if he has a friend that looks like Kame or Maru and is all guei with him. That'd be awesome.
In other things, and in the topic of gueiness, I read this old entry in kattunlove about akame rabu.
All fangirls that commented go along the lines of "They're not gay and I wouldnt want them to be gay, but OMGthefanservice, the slash the porn"
There's something I believe too. I don't think there is only friendship love (I should know, I've been over the same boat). the body language, the awkwardness, the ignoring-on-purpose, the sneaking glances and just everything akame, I think. Sometimes I'm watching some kattun clip an there's something so deep, so pure and raw and it HURTS to feel it and not knowing or, worst, that they don't know it.
I've never though about it all on the grounds of "soulmates" but it somehow fits. 
Also, getting worked up for people I won't ever meet is creeping me out, so I'll stop.
kriszeth: (Default)



Jan. 28th, 2008 09:52 pm
kriszeth: (Default)


My favorite song right about now.

Ok, into more... serious? Other things. I've wondering What's the point?

Esther keeps saying  Please, confide in me. Tell me about you, the things you do and the things you like. What you see and what you want.

That's great coming from a friend, specially when I felt so... down -? No. That's not the right word. Maybe more like dissilussioned? Yeah, that pretty much sums it up- about my supposed "friends" in college.

Though I didn't felt it that much to begin with.

Mostly because I went on break right after stopping talking to them and it pretty much feels like prior years.

I actually think that they feel the same and are waiting for me to talk to them once I get back. I must say I'm still thinking about it.

But, you know, the problem is: No matter how much I want to tell her the things I do or like or see or want, I always end up disillusioning her.

Tatoeba... her last text message.

When I was all hyper because I finally got NewS new single weeeek! –also got the PV. I like the part when Koyama puts his hands on his waist and swings. Is pretty funny. I even squealed. Squealed! For a guy I don't even like! And oh, Tegoshi Yuya. He's the cutest lovely sweety I've ever seen and don't even let me start in Yamashita Tomohisa- and was trying to learn the lyrics, she asks Hi! How are you? What are you doing? Any news?

They were NewS, that's for sure

I had a smile so big I thinks my cheekbones hurt and all glassy eyed and hyper induced answered I was learning a new song. Her reply was A song? Must be one of those in that weirdy oriental language.

Even at that point, I didn't feel insulted or anything and I still answered back all happy-go-lucky. After all, I felt over in 9th cloud. I tried to explain the feeling the song left me, specially after reading the translation.

It's a hopeful song, trying to get a message accross. It tells you not to give up enjoying life just by growing up, to take your time, day by day, enjoying what you do and with the way I've lately felt about this particular fact, hearing a song like this makes feel somehow relieved and hopeful. I still don't know how to explain it, so here are the lyrics:

weeeek! )

When I heard it the first time, I wanted to sing and dance and jump around. I couldn't tell her all this, and I feel like, even if I had sent her the translation, it wouldn't be enough and she wouldn't want to see the PV and hear a song in a language she dislikes. I confess I didn't tell her all this, but we were text messaging via cellphone, so...

Her reply was It's good you're entertained and positive. Well, good night!

Frankly, it left me feeling ashamed of what I like. As if she was hearing me out just because it was the polite thing to do, like being patient with a stupid kid. And the worst of all, it's not the first time it feels like that!

Also, when I meet with her, she often makes faces, like it is tedious and bothersome and just generally annoying. I noticed, so I stopped telling her about it, but then, I didn't have much to talk about, because I can't say Oh! I saw a wonderful movie called Yuuki and Kamenashi Kazuya is in it and it made cry, it was so great! You should see it, too  because that is NOT what she wants to hear nor does she want to watch it and school life is just not what it cracks up to be either.

I can't keep telling her about my teachers and classes when I meet her though that's usually what I do, so I don't know what to talk about. Mostly, I just keep my mouth shut and listen to her. She rather enjoys it anyway.

Also, she dislikes my mother. And my brother. Family complains are a big NO-NO -and I don't even like complainig about my family to other people to begin with-. Something about blaming her because I don't expect much from life and I'm apathetic, as if my mother kept me locked up while she was living the great life and enjoying outings or the like.

First, I'm not an out-going person. Like Infinitesimi said once, I'm nice to people, not really friendly and even when I get invited I usually decline, beacuse my classmates live in another town and it's bothersome and tiring to keep traveling on bus.

And when you try to catch up with a friend, the first thing that comes out of your mouth are not things like  My father is ill or I stopped talking to my pseudo college friends because I got tired of them. You try to say things you enjoyed or were fun to do or see, but that kinds of things are not something your friend wants nor likes to hear, what can I do?

Ok, maybe you also tell sad things or the problems you have, but......

Argh! I don't know how to say it. And there are things that doesn't need to be said.

Also, she usually phones me around 10 p.m. and I'm tired and I can't freely talk, because the phone is in the kitchen and EVERYBODY hears what I say or she phones when I feel down or I'm doing other things and don't really pay attetion and it feels like I'm not a good friend, am I?


Everything I really utterly completely like, she dislikes. The things I think seriously over, she does not agree with. She keeps thinking I'm apathetic because my mother keeps me locked up and my family uses me like a maid so I don't have time to go out and get fun.

She keeps saying Tell me about you, how you feel, but when I do so and when she replies it feels like she is saying It is because of your mother's fears and strict education that you are like this. Mostly, this is because I don't enjoy what other people think of as fun and that's what she does not understand.

She is not by me 24/7 anymore. She doesn't see me interact with other people and she can't understand the kind of person I still am. Encased in my highschool doubts.for her, that's not how I should be. Because, to her, I should be happy, bright-eyed, outgoing, friendly, joyful, competitive, courageous,  talkative, positive, looking to the future with hope and expectatives. In short, a person who is not the present me. Maybe someday I will, maybe I'll die tomorrow. I don't know.

And no matter what I say or do, she won't stop blaming my mother for how I am. It's like I'm content with you being able to tell me all of this, but I still think your mother is at fault.

I give up.






kriszeth: (Default)

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