kriszeth: (feel the sea breeze)
 so i got back my computer, after like two months. i'm so utterly happy =D

this year has been busy crazy, i wake up at 8, get to the internship at 9, get out at 3, com home, eat, go out again, be it to INAEBA or the high school, get home at 7 if i'm lucky and if not at ten, rinse, sleep, repeat. i don't wanna prepare classes for tomorrow T_________T

the internship is kinda cool, but waking up early is a bitch.

INAEBA work is a hassle, because the office is a fucking mess at the moment. my manager has changed four times in the last month and today i got shocked because they told me i would get assigned to new communities so all my non-paid work for the last two months can go fuck itself. yes, i'm mad about this and monday i'm gonna bitch about it to the coordinator. 

the highschool work is kinda ok, kinda not. so, i kinda know english, i'm good at grammar, my pronunciation still sucks, but i'm getting better (internet how you save me so ♥) but i understand what i'm talking about. even so, the academic teacher, who's in charge of the subject is worse than me and he's supposed to have a degree to back him up, but i can't say anything since he's been teaching there for like seven years, but having to apply to the students the exams he makes is a pain the ass, since you know, his grammar sucks. even plain old me didn't get half the exams. i wonder if i should be worried for my work since i have like a hundred students and only the third passed, and i'm not talking about flying colors either ::sighs:: though all of them told me from the beginning they didn't like english, so maybe it's just that they're blocking themselves from learning.- and let's face it, students are really conniving and procrastinators (been there done that), but it's ridiculous how they keep telling me i should teach them like the old teacher. can you all be more childish? hat's plain stupid, they almost literally told me "i don't learn because you don't teach me like my old teacher. also, you don't have leader skills, so that's why i don't pay you any attention nor do i take you seriously"

leaving that aside and talking about enjoyable things, OMFG KATTUN NEW SINGLE (yes i know i'm hopelessly late to the party, but i don't care) LKASJDOIAJWQOEDKASMNCLASI. I LOVE EVERY FUCKING SECOND OF THE D-MOTION, OVERUSED AUTOTUNE AND ALL, I LOVE IT SO FUCKING MUCH. also, aishiteru kara, aishiteru kara, kame kame kame kame kame have i told you how much I FUCKING LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL AND JUST EVERYTHING, YOU MADE ME CREEPY FOR AN IDOL, THAT WAS FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE IN MY BOOKS BEFORE I KNEW YOU EXISTED, PLEASE DON'T EVER CHANGER. NEVER EVER. and i'm totally behind on yamanade, but i love love love love it to pieces, (though i don't get the opening, but who cares, kame adorably clueless and dense and CROSS DRESSING, if that's NOT HOT i don't know what is, i loved him in his seifuku. i might have realized i even have a thing for kame in girl seifuku, just ♥♥♥♥♥♥.

Kanjani's Christmas single it's also pure love. i love Ryo, but that's for another post.

as i've been outta lj for the last month and i might have bypassed lotsa things on my super fast peruse of the flist, i'll ask to kind souls to please send me links of awesome downloadable things. specially yamanade. and jin's concert rips would be awesome too, i know they're out there somewhere, but i can't get to them DDD=

to A.RA.SHE XP happy belated birthday, and if this weekend i have time to breathe i'll scrunch up something for you. if not, at least let's chat. i miss you lots and lots. for real face.

to kon-awesome-is-my-surname, let's see how long it takes me then to send you the gift i picked up. i still need to send it for engraving ToT and polishing.

to cookie, just wondering if you send that card or if it was you i asked for a christmas card, cos it hasn't arrived and it seems like an awful lot of time since christmas. if you weren't able to send it, it's alright, just wanted to know if i should stop hoping.

god, i missed akame, what's going on with them?


peace and out. have fun going out while i prepare classes for tomorrow 

kriszeth: (christmas on my own)
wow. just wow. january is ending and i haven't done much fandom wise or worthy and klsjdoiasdjas i spent too much time away from my pc T_______________T

so i got my hands in two part-time jobs and an internship full time in regular hours wich kills all my free time and my pc broke down so i had to format my HD .again. and even though this time i had saved all my files i can't access them, idk if it's thanks to incompatibility or i need to buy a new cable DDDDDD:

so, how is yamanade coming along? comments, critics, spazzy babbling is always welcome. and i'd really like to hear something about it from you [ profile] koneho , because you kept saying you didn't like the actress the producers chose. also, i need your address.

um, dunno what else to talk about, and i need to go and sleep since i stil have to wake up early to finish planning classes and putting together worksheets and etc, etc, etc.

kriszeth: (Default)
now i have to do a schedule and a sample class so they can hire me. idk how to do the schedule. Liz' supposed to help me, but she's kinda busy with life and, well, rl.

so today from 5 to 9 i crammed biology, geography, history, math, physics, chem, and literature and it made me remember why i really liked school/high school when i was 12. college ruined it for me, i swear. so now i have this urge to reread all my old books and that encyclopedia my father bought me when i was 14 and is like three 3.5" thick but i'm kinda hyped about it.

i was so nervous about doing that exam T_________T. i shake like a leaf in autumn when people mention they're gonna make me do exams. i'm no good with exams. i'm pretty good about talking in public about class topics, even when i suck at small talk and social relations.

so now i'll go and watch something as a reward to myself, though i should be cleaning my room. no internship till training the 11th. so, free time, yay! though i'll be doing laundry and chores and things like that. i need a new lotion. the one i have is not enough anymore. my hands feel dry no matter how many times i put my current lotion on. i guess it only works on summer. but i don't have the money to buy a new one since i spent all my saving in an instyler. i-it was shinny and on sale?

kriszeth: (Default)
as i ask this from myself, there's people isolated in Philippines. idk if there are people on my flist that live there apart from [ profile] fionnakreuz  and [ profile] koneho, though in kon's case is only her family. still, girls, i hope everything is ok with you two and those you hold dear, sorry for having being unable to comment on your ljs, i've been having a shitty week myself, only not in storm-like proportions, but shitty non the less.

so, to download or to not download? buzzer beat's bloopers are compelling me to just download the drama and get it over with, but my hd is full and watching online kills the bandwidth and i'm still trying to get back all the music i lost last year. there's so many things to download and not enough time/hd space/decent download speed/what-not. so,  opinions? is it worth it?

i finally caved and begged for an internship that would not count as an internship since i won't get a recommendation letter from the institution in itself, but i can get a recommendation letter from those who'll be my inmediate superior(s). maybe. so hello internship, goodbye lousy job that won't get me work experience in my field. i begin monday and finish in december. i'll be money-less for another three months if not more, but i'd given the first step into the uncertain. or something. i kinda hate myself for it.

like, i have this old classmate who studied the same as me, at the same time, tough in the capital and she's even got new car of the year and argh. i feel pathetic and like i'll never amount to anything. my life, such fail. i don't even want to talk to her since everything she talks to me about is how much she enjoys her work and all the awesome and interesting courses she's taking and all the cool things she has money to spend in and then she asks me what have i been doing and it's hard to look her in the eye and tell her i'm still looking for a job and see her do all of this disappointed/belittling faces  (or so the feel and look like), almost like a sneer and i feel so incredibly tiny and insecure and ashamed and i think i want to cry so...

so, i'll go sulk away. good night

kriszeth: (Default)
so remember that exam i was gonna take to  join the SRE? well, i went to aguascalientes on a three day trip to take it. i'm almost positive i wont make it into the second round, but well, there's always next year, isn't it? and i need to begin looking for a job now. a real one, i mean, no more unattainable dreams or whatever.

i dread tomorrow.

so, what have i been doing in this fine day? apart from breaking faucets and getting all wet. not much really. usual stuff. fangirling for akame (thank you thank you thank you cartoon kattun producer i love you thank you), planning to watch my newly acquired season 5 of buffy the vampire slayer, cleaned my room, washed clothes, tried to write (totally sucked at it), been dl-ing a buch of movies i'll probably end up watching next month or something, read this, and this, and this, and oh, this.

i sound totally exanimate, which is kinda weird since i truly wanted to write something in here. only that once the window openec my words sound so, idk, disheartened. ::sighs::

oh, well, i'll try again tomorrow

kriszeth: (Default)
you know when you're in school and only wish to get a break and sleep until your bed falls down under you and still you keep on sleeping in? well, after 8 months out of school and with no job in the horizon, i find myself needing a schedule, because, horrors of horrors, i'm more productive the less sleep i get. please shoot me.

so, i decided i'm going to drag myself up at 7 everyday and this is my first day... only that as always i fail and it took me an hour to get up.  -.-so to commemorate, i'm posting innane things in my innane journal! i sure hope it'll become easier as the week passes though, because needing an hour to get up is pathetic.

anyway, it kind of pays off when the first thing i see is this post. really [ profile] hlopushka you made my day! (also, do you have a nick name? i'm kind of lazy and your username it's kind of difficult to remember for my dead brain)

ok, so thing i need to buy:

1. cortinero... well, i can't find how to say curtain hanger, so i wrote it in spanish
2. iphone... because i'm obssesed with it, ok. and also, i think kame uses an iphone in kami no shizuku so now i want it even more!
3. pills... like, you know, to help my digestion, and because i'm sure i have amoebas or something, since, you know, i haven't desparasited in years (i'm sure those words have a perfectly known technical name but i don't know it and i can't find it, so if you don't understand, is for th better)
4. jeans... oh, i saw in moroleon some cool one. and also some cheap cargo pants! and i want them!

so, as i need money, I NEED FIRST TO GET A JOB. WHEN IS THE OFFICE GOING TO CALL, DAMNIT?! ::insert dirty look at her phone::

well, i need to go and clean up, since, you know, i didn't do it at all yesterday and don't want another lecture from mom and i need a job, seriusly.
kriszeth: (Default)

it was going to be the longer thing i've ever posted about real life, like 2, 000 words, but my pc keeps screwing over with me, so now my rant is lost and i'm quite weary to write everything again. so long story short, i feel lost and don't know what to do with my life.
which is the same thing i've been saying since i began writing here, only that one hour ago i actually had explained why i felt lost and insecure.
so, in typical me-ness i made this quiz and got this:

my complete personal profile and my most daunting fears in less than five minutes )

also, new meme!
Comment and I'll give you a letter, then make a list in your journal of all your favorite things that start with that letter. Then post this in your journal and give other people letters!

[ profile] chokollet gave the letter "R", so let's try, ne.

Ryo, as in Nishikado from NEWS (first thing on my mind. surprise, surprise)
Read; Radio; Rooftops; Rails; Rain, Rainbow, Raindrops and just everything that has to see with rain, period; Rambles, Random; Raspberries, Receive, Reclusion (a little), Rediscovering, Reflection, Relax, Rivers, Rice, Rollerskates, Rustic things (especially of the wooden kind)
kriszeth: (Default)

so after reading a LOT of tutorials and grasping only the basic of the basics (because i suck at following written instructions and things NEVER go my way), i erased azureus, bitcomet, bitorrent and various other torrents i couldn't get to work properly since the download speed for those things was 1 to 5 kb/sec.

and the things i want are on torrent, like, you know, buffy's e-books (all canon novels) and those american series i'd like to finish watching, like buffy, angel, dr. house, supernatural and dark angel. i also could downlad from


and this is where it gets depressing (for me at least). i watched orange days. i think is the first drama i've finished watching that has no pretty JE boys in its starring, for which i was kind of uninterested at first until i saw Sae give Kai a kick. it was hilarious.

i think i identified myself a little too much with some aspects with the characters, like Shohei saying "I'm just putting life off", creating excuses for myself and lying tto my family about the date release of my resultsand things like that. although i haven't found anything to work for (literally and metaphorically). i also have no impressing memories of my school life. i remember fun stories, but those aren't things that'll stay with me for the rest of my life. even the people i spent time with then, in a year time, i'm not sure i'll talk with (mostly because of my indifference)

i'm quite weird about this thing of not wanting to have contact with people i won't be interacting from now on anymore. like, turning to the next thing and moving on, only that i never really move on. sometimes i miss and sometimes i regret and then i tell myself that this is what i want (and notice that it is mostly how i really feel, just not really interested).

i think... well, no. i'm quite sure i really hate to have to interact with people, specially with people that sought my friendship (in rl i mean), wether they really mean it or not. to have to answer to their questions and little messages. mostly of having nothing to say back to them, because there's no point since they just ask as small-talk. usual questions usually followed by one word answers or not even that.

i wonder when my lj comments began to be lenghtier than my real conversations (and seeing that is only now that i'm geting comments back that is quite pathetic), i think i'm even sadder when i don't get an answer back from a comment i made that from that of an acquaintance


an d mom called me a while back to go do things and i totally lost the tread of this entry, so i'll leave it at this
kriszeth: (Default)

So I've read the redone four chapters of Chain from pengiechan over at
I must say I miss the character development of her first multichapter (actually discontinued), the way Hiyono and Ayumu's relashionship bloomed from time and closeness and I don't know how to explain, but the new story leaves me desiring a lot from the plot. How his feelings for Madoka were changing at the same time Hiyono's importance was being brought to light, the doubts, the subtleness.
The pace, in especial, was quite enjoyable, exploring the feelings on each character, their evolution tep by step, indicidually and as a whole even when they weren't in every scene.
Pengiechan's writing is still beautiful and deep (which is why I still want to read the new Chain), but to leave such a story like the old Chain without an ending just when the plot was thickening was sad.
And I can't believe I'm writing this or even understand why.
Lately, I've had a lot in my mind about what to write on here. Or just write in general (How to let go should've have been over at chapter six by now, so why is it I haven't done anything?), but usually it just ends up being forgotten as I read.
I reread Stefan Gagne, btw. At least the Slayers part. Finished Slayers Virtual, which left me quite confused about cyberpunk fic, from which I didn't understand a lot of concepts, but still finished in one day (my eyes hurt and I have a BIG headache). It's just the perfect balance between all categories in a story.
I feel quite like Gourry when they were talking about VR and lusers and bot and what not (hackers, feh!)
Plan on reading an AU of Ranma 1/2 from the same author, plot-wise about cyberpunk (I think the theme was this, if not, I fail). Maybe this time around it'll make more sense (wish I were a hacker. That way I could get back my old hotmail account, which I miss. A lot. Since, you know, it has the same name as my lj account and that name is quite important to me.)
Also, just found Spiral manga scanlated almost completely, so at least I'll undertand a little more about Hizumi and the back-story of Kiyotaka.
And talking about manga, read MARS last week. Must say, Jin would make the perfect Rei if the rumour  about it being made into a drama was truth. Is easy to picture him in that role, though I can't imagine him with Maki as co-protagonist. True that Maki gives out that Kira-feeling, but together... I can't imagine them together. Dunno why (Yamapi, Akira, Kurosaki)
Planning on finishing Liar Game (which has been on my HD for months now), dl Maou and watch it (since I stopped at ep. 3), waiting for Code Blue (ls productions, hope your virus problem can be fixed soon)
Also, been downlading all soundtracks producer by Yokko Kano. Dl Secret Code and the Kanjani8 albums, which I haven't listened.

I should update more about rl...
In which I'm struggling for a job, Father has been telling everyone he knows I've finished college so they can give me a (bad-paid) job, went to Irapuato last Tuesday to leave a job application (still waiting for a call), will go to the IFE Monday to see if there is a place for me.
Must write my CV
Waiting for a call from LaSalle to see if I passed my Ceneval (in wich I had 1145 points and supposedly I'll past if I get 1000, so people around me is sure I did pass while I'm waiting for confimation) and to give the damn certificate.
Had a lot of fights over thinking about my future, from which I'v NEVER EXPECTED ANYTHING, because I'm lame and scared shitless.
Discovered I hate eating, but still find myself stuffing food inside my mouth and gaining weigh

And now I notice I don't know quite how to tag this entry
Wish me luck (and wit) to find suitable categories
kriszeth: (Default)

Lately, ne, I've been reading Shige's essays in Myojo. I must say "Wow!", because is always refreshing and touching and just plain awesome how he can write all THAT from only one word. Mostly because he does not try to give out lessons and advice, but because he's giving you inkling into his life, how he thinks and how he feels. It's clearly enjoyable how his words link into this amazing piece of reading material from what seem simple prompts.

And so, here's my failed attempt into this kinda writing, although mine WILL be 1 000 times more depresing. God, I need to see kurosagi, definitely, when is it gonna be subbed again? Is someone even gonna sub it? Anybody?




Camera )
kriszeth: (Default)
Today is Master's birthday.
He'd be 22 if he were alive.
People all over the world celebrate this date as a new beggining, another chance. I can only think Today is Master's birthday... and he is not here.
I can just stay here and  think Master would be twenty two.
I can just let this day pass as any other, because I don't care if this is the last day of the year, I can only think I was never the first one to congratulate Master in his birthday. I always tried to be last one to say it, because I wanted to ask 'Was it happy? This day... Did I make you smile? Did you like my present? Were you happy... with me?'
... )

Mom asked me What are your intentions for this new year?
I answered Where's the point in having intentions, when you know you're not gonna do them?
Sometimes I wonder What would Master want for me? He'd want me to keep going and to find love again and to be happy and get a job I'd enjoy and face the world saying You will not defeat me and work hard to get all the things I may wish for, to reach out and hold onto the things I'd work for. To accept things as they are and go from there.
Master'd want me to think Ah. Today was great. I'm glad I'm alive.
But all I can think of is If Master were here, then there'd be a possibility to say and do and be all those things.
I can't keep going like this, ne? But this is the only way I know how to keep going.
Because even if I wish thing were different, a person who doesn't change for herself, has no right to be regretful


kriszeth: (Default)

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