kriszeth: (Default)
[personal profile] kriszeth
this has been long in coming, though. all this week has felt utterly sucky, beginning with the awful weather and continuing with no paying job in the horizon, a couple of family fights per day (and when i say fight i mean shouting match that lasts three to for hours average) and so on. summary: my life is truly fucked up right now. not even NMP pv could lift my spirits, that's how bad it is.

i mean i've resorted to embroidering to pass the time. finished a couple of books that had been sitting in my hard drive for a while now. been doodling a lot and the drawings are so abstractedly sad and ominously desperate.

my choice of reading didn't help much in the beginning. i mean, i chose my sister's keeper by jodi picoult. let me tell you the characters are really interesting and the constant changing in pov made them even more lively. still, fuck it but that's my life right there. the problems i live with everyday inside my family, then tension, death hanging all over the house and the stubbornness and all that horrible mix of negative feelings drowning us all. i hated the book but i couldn't detach myself from it. it was quite masochistic.

and so, yeah. my father has chronic renal failure ever since six years ago or something like that and it has been fucking hell in my house since we found out about it. my brother left college to help maintain the family business afloat so me and my younger brother could finish a career and then after i finish i lost the chance to get a couple jobs because i was always at the hospital in another city and so two years have passed and i'm still unemployed, living with my parents and failing driving classes spectacularly.

and now i don't even remember my rant anymore since mom called to say something she never did and it's quite likely she'll do it again in some minutes, so i'm cutting this here.
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